1) Dodgeball- Great quotes!
White Goodman: "Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur."
White Goodman: "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood-nobody!"
White Goodman: "I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you. "
Cotton McKnight: "I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match."
Pepper Brooks: "It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em."
Pepper Brooks: "It's time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian."
Cotton McKnight: "It looks like the clock is about to strike midnight on this Cinderella story, turning Average Joe's into the proverbial pumpkin."
Pepper Brooks: "I sure do like pumpkins, Cotton."
Cotton McKnight: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!"
White Goodman: "Oh, now he's a philosophizer."
2) Mean Girls
Crying Girl: [reading from paper] "I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy..."
[about to cry]
Damian: [shouting from back] "She doesn't even go here!"
Ms. Norbury: "Do you even go to this school?"
Crying Girl: "No... I just have a lot of feelings... "
Damian: [delivering candy canes] "Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh... ”Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?"
Cady: "It's Cady."
Damian: "Oh Cady, here you go, one for you... And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye."
Michigan Girl: "Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed."
Mr. Duvall: "Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!"
Short Girl: "Hey, get out of here."
Damian: "Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!"
Janis: "Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?"
Emma Gerber: "Regina George is flawless."
Mathlete Tim Pak: "I hear her hair's insured for $10,000."
Amber D'Alessio: "I hear she does car commercials... in Japan."
Kristen Hadley: "Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues."
Short Girl: "One time she met John Stamos on a plane..."
Jessica Lopez: "- And he told her she was pretty."
Bethany Byrd: "One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome."
Karen: "It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain."
Cady: "Really? That's amazing."
Karen: "Well... they can tell when it's raining."
Janis: "God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big LESBIAN crush on you! Suck on THAT! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!"
3) The Hangover
Alan Garner: "Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon."
Phil Wenneck: "Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice."
Stu Price: "[playing piano and singing passionately] What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers..."
Doug Billings: "Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble. Or drink too much."
Phil Wenneck: "Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit."
Officer Franklin: "[to Alan] Not you, fat Jesus."
Alan Garner: "Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a foolproof system. "
Stu Price: "It's also illegal."
Alan Garner: "It's not illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane."
Phil Wenneck: "I'm pretty sure that's illegal too."
Alan Garner: "Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, bin Laden."
Stu Price: "That is not Doug."
Mr. Chow: "What're you talking about, Willis? That him!"
Stu Price: "No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow, that's not our friend, he... it's..."
Alan Garner: "The Doug we're looking for is a white."
Stu Price: "Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!"
Phil Wenneck: "It's not our baby."
Alan Garner: "[repeatedly singing] And we're the three best friends that anyone could have!"
Stu Price: "She's got my grandmother's Holocaust ring!"
Alan Garner: "I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust."
Mike Tyson: "By the way man, where you get that cop car from?"
Stu Price: "We uh, stole it from these dumbass cops."
Mike Tyson: "*Nice*!"
Alan Garner: "You probably get this a lot. This isn't the real Caesar's Palace is it?"
Lisa: "What do you mean?"
Alan Garner: "Did, umm... did Caesar live here?"
Alan Garner: "I didn't think so."
Alan Garner: "I’d like to…I’d like to say something…something I prepared. Tonight…
How about that ride in? I guess that’s why they call it Sin City (hahaha)
You guys may not know this, but I consider myself…a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So were two…so there was two of us in the pack. I…I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later.
And 6 months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys. I thought…wait a second, could it be. And now I know for sure, I just added 2 more guys to my wolf pack. 4 of us wolves running around the desert together, in Las Vegas looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, we make a toast!"
4) The Breakfast Club
John Bender: "Being bad feels pretty good, huh?"
John Bender: "Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?"
Brian Johnson: "Uh, no. Mr. Johnson."
Richard Vernon: "What was that ruckus?"
Andrew Clark: "Uh, what ruckus?"
Richard Vernon: "I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus."
Brian Johnson: "Could you describe the ruckus, sir?"
Richard Vernon: "My office is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised. Any questions?"
John Bender: "Yeah, I have a question. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardobe?"
Richard Vernon: "You'll get the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday."
Richard Vernon: "You're not fooling anyone, Bender. The next screw that falls out will be you."
John Bender: "Eat my shorts."
Richard Vernon: "What was that?"
John Bender: "Eat... My... Shorts."
5) Remember the Titans
Alan Bosley: [act naturally playing in the background] "Huh? Yes! This one... I don't even have to ask but, I will. What do you think of this one?"
Blue Stanton: [rubbing head] "Does the term, cruel and unusal punishment mean *anything* to you?"
Coach Boone: "We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and i will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile. Perfection. Let's go to work."
Coach Yoast: "All right, now, I don't want them to gain *another yard!* * You blitz... all... night!* If they cross the line of scrimmage, I'm gonna take every last one of you out! You make sure they remember, *forever*, the night they played the Titans!"
Petey Jones: "Why the clouds, Sunshine?"
Sheryl: "People say that it can't work, black and white; well here we make it work, everyday. We have our disagreements, of course, but before we reach for hate, always, always, we remember the Titans."
Coach Boone: "Anybody know what this place is? This is Gettysburg. This is where they fought the Battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fightin' the same fight that we're still fightin' amongst ourselves today.
This green field right here was painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys, smoke and hot lead pourin' right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men:
'I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family.'
You listen. And you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together, right now, on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed -- just like they were. I don't care if you like each other or not. But you will respect each other. And maybe -- I don't know -- maybe we'll learn to play this game like men."
Judge Smails: "You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself."
Ty Webb: "Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch."
Sandy: "I want you to kill every gophers on the golf course!"
Carl Spackler: "Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key..."
Sandy: "Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents* -!
Carl Spackler: We can do that; we don't even have to have a reason. All right, let's do the same thing, but with gophers -!"
Al Czervik: "Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?"
[looks at Judge Smails, who's wearing the same hat]
Al Czervik: "Oh, it looks good on you though."
Al Czervik: [to his Asian companion] "I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?"
Carl Spackler: "So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas."
Angie D'Annunzio: "A looper?"
Carl Spackler: "A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
Ty Webb: "You take drugs, Danny?"
Danny Noonan: "Every day."
Ty Webb: Good. "Then what's your problem?"
Groundskeeper Sandy: "Carl. Damn your eyes. I told you, today is the day we change the holes. Now, do it, and no more slacking off."
Carl Spackler: "I'll slack you off, you fuzzy little foreigner."
Judge Smails: "Spaulding, get dressed you're playing golf."
Spalding Smails: "No I'm not grandpa I'm playing tennis."
Judge Smails: "You're playing golf and you're going to like it."
Spalding Smails: "What about my asthma?"
Judge Smails: "I'll give you asthma"
Carl Spackler: "I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days."
Lou Loomis: "Pick up that blood!"
Tony D'Annunzio: "Hey wait a minute. That's only 50 cents."
Danny Noonan: "Yeah well Lou raised the price of coke he's been losing at the track."
Tony D'Annunzio: "Well I ain't paying no 50 cents for no coke."
Danny Noonan: "Oh then you ain't getting no coke. Know what I'm talking about?"
Carl Spackler: "This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff."