Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Thrive for Life

Time to talk about myself! In 4th grade, I had my first seizure. I was diagnosed with epilepsy later that year. Epilepsy is a seizure disorder that runs in my family.  Although I wasn't aware at the time, this disorder would effect my entire life. I was put on medication, and everything was fine. In the summer going into 7th grade I had 4 seizures. Not fun. However, the problem was solved and my doctor put me on a different medicine that was best for me. That was when everything turned upside down. Because of certain side effects, school, which usually was easy for me, got a lot tougher. It seemed like everything was less clear, I always got distracted, and it felt like I had less energy in me. Even my personality altered. Sometimes my mom would ask me-"What happened to my Rosie?" referring to the old, bright and more energetic me. It killed me when she would say that. By the time freshman year came around, I had accepted that I was quiet, shy, and a pushover. My friends didn't treat me well, and I didn't have enough respect for myself to tell them to stop. I was a follower. Most importantly, I wasn't happy with myself and my life. The beginning of sophomore year was a nightmare. My friends, just like they (we, I guess) had done to other girls in the group, stop answering my calls or texts. They would all make up excuses and ditch me. I finally couldn't deal with it anymore. I basically completely broke off from that group and decided to take a risk and branch out. I had to find the person I used to be for this to happen. I became more confident in myself, and I became more outgoing. I started hanging out with people who actually liked me for who I am. They thought I was funny, fun to be around. The more steps I took out of my comfort zone, the more people I became friends with. I was happier than I had ever been in a very long time. I had many more friends, and actual friends who appreciated me. I realize now that even though my epilepsy has been an obstacle, and there will be things I can't do because of it, but it has also been a consistent learning experience. I truly believe that it has been "a blessing in disguise" as they say. If this is the biggest burden in my life, then I am very lucky. I don't have a problem telling people about it anymore, I'm not really embarrassed about it like I used to be. I just don't like it when people treat me differently because of it. The only thing I can't stand is when people make fun of or imitate someone who has seizures. Other then that, I have a sense of humor about it when its not offensive. Many people freak out when I tell them, but I haven't had a seizure in 3 years and there are no signs of me having one anytime soon. That is part of the reason I chose carpe diem for my title. I've learned from this experience to be thankful for each day I have and not to waste it. I have also learned that there is always someone out there who has it worse than I do. There always will be, and I'm going to try to give back. I want to be remembered by that, not by my disorder. What do you want to be remembered for? Don't just live life, thrive for it! Seize the day! 
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” -James Dean
“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death” -Albert Einstein
“I would rather have a big burden and a strong back, than a weak back and a caddy to carry life's luggage” -Elbert Hubbard


1 comment:

  1. youre so inspirational rose! everything you said about life is so true! i lovee you for who you are and so do a billion other people! and its so good that you realized that after people treated you so badly!